This is the situation I find myself in at this time. Not a life or death issue surely, but God has been calling me to do something. It is a call I am all too familiar with. A call to write. It is on my mind daily. It consumes my thoughts. However, there will a cost to be paid. Time invested. Hard work. Obedience.
I have found myself in a state in which Moses found himself at the burning bush. Are you sure you want me? How will I do this? How do I know it will bear fruit?
I feel like Gideon asking God to show me over and over again that I am hearing from Him correctly. Over and over again He has showed me that yes, this is what He is saying. He has used His word. He has used friends. He has used movies. He has used email. He has used our pastor.
Recently, our pastor was talking specifically about callings. It made me realize that what I tell my children is true for me as well. Delayed obedience is disobedience. If I know that God is calling me to do something and I don't do it, it is sin to me.
One of the other things I have realized is that we are not called to obey only if we can know what the outcome is going to be. That is what I would like in this situation. I would like to know the effort will be worth the outcome. There is no such thing. God calls. You go. Blessing might be the end result, but suffering might be the result as well. My only purpose should be to obey and try my best to bring glory to God.
God knows my heart. He knows more about me than anyone else. He knows that I want to do what He has called me to do. He also knows more than anyone how much I am struggling with this.
In a book I read by Beth Moore, she said something that really struck me. She said, "I am constantly wanting to go somewhere with God." I have always known God had great things for me. He has great things for every follower if we are bold enough or courageous enough to embrace it. My prayer is I can see in me what He sees in me. That I can obey no matter what. That I can believe that I am capable to do anything He has called me to do through Christ who strengthens me. I might think it is impossible, but God knows it is possible. Pray for me and let's pray for each other as we boldly go forward in obedience. Imagine what the world would be like if we didn't make any excuses when He called, and we just acted. We might, through Him, be able to change the world.
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 4:17